Summer wedding in CT

In December I received the following letter...


As the New Year quickly approaches and you search for ways to assist others through advice, charitable contributions and volunteer efforts, Please reach out to help our brother Jermaine Toles (29 yrs. old) and fiancée’ Antonia Lopes (27 yrs. old).

Your help is desperately needed to assist the couple in having the small yet elegant wedding they so greatly desire. Jermaine and Antonia are planning to marry on June 19,2009 in Derby, C.T. The couple currently resides in Richmond, VA ., where they met and became college sweethearts.

Antonia is disabled with left side paralysis and partial blindness in her left eye. Her disabilities were caused by multiple surgeries due to a condition called Hydrocephalus. Hydrocephalus is basically excess fluid on the brain. The excess fluid puts an enormous amount of pressure on the brain. If it is not relieved it eventually causes, mental retardation, convulsions and at times death.

Antonia was born with Hydrocephalus and has under gone multiple surgeries since she was 6 months old. At the age of 16 yrs old, and another life threatening event, doctors decided to drill a whole into Antonia’s skull to drain the excess water which would relieve the pressure on her brain & n bsp; After one month in the hospital the surgery was successful.
About two years ago Antonia had another reminder of her disabilities and limitations. Antonia was walking home from work when her left leg gave way under her. Antonia has little to no mobility on her left side which caused her to fall on the sidewalk. Antonia had nothing to cushion her fall which caused her to break her paralyzed hand.



Antonia does not let her disabilities stop her from being a phenomenal woman, daughter, sister, and friend and soon to be bride of my brother. She continues to go to school, work full time, and be an activist for those with disabilities.

Jermaine often states that Antonia’s inner beauty illuminates her outer beauty surpassing anyone he has ever met. There unconditional love for each other is very inspiring. It sets an example for the young and old. There wedding day should match that inspiration . Unfortunately, the couple is unable to afford the wedding or honeymoon they desire. This is due to medical bills, student loans and not to mention credit card debt NOT created by either of them.

It is disheartening to my sister and I, that we are not able to assist Jermaine and Antonia with the financial support that they need for there wedding. So please do not toss this email in the trash bin or may not pile. Please consider and assist Jermaine and Antonia with the celebration of there union. There wedding is a symbol of chains of negative family traditions and relationships being broken. Please feel free to contact us at ...






It was such a pleasure working with Antonia and Jermaine. Antonia is exceedingly joyful, easy going and clear about her desires. Jermaine is incredibly artistic. He designed the wedding cake. Their color scheme, watermelon, celery, and cornflower. Antonia loves diamonds and wanted them sprinkled around the cake and on each table. Jermaine wanted the romantic feel of candlelight.

Their love was incredibly apparent in the way they looked at one another. Even as Jermaine waited at the altar for his bride, I could see just how overwhelmed with joy Jermaine was.

Being a part of their story was a blessing. I am so glad his sister's reached out and even more excited that we were in a position to give back.

Antonia and Jermaine, I wish you all the best in your journey of life and love.

A Tribute to Michael Jackson

Though I am a huge Prince fan, I am deeply saddened by the death of Michael Jackson. I can still remember where I was when Thriller debuted. I think that was when I was old enough to understand just how insanely talented he was. My friend and I have battled for years over who was better; Michael or Prince. Of course, we agreed to disagree. But today, I comforted her with my words of adoration as she shed tears for Michael.

I pray that God comforts his family in this terrible time.

Me and Jimelle at her wedding- August 2008.

Custom Linen Cocktail Napkins... an Heirloom?

A couple of weeks ago, I received a package from Butterly and Company. In it were the most beautiful custom linen cocktail napkins. I really adore them. The styles vary and can certainly suit any brides' personality.

Most of all, I think they can be used for future garden tea parties or wine tastings at home, baby showers, family dinners or other special occasions. Butterfly & Company also does hand towels.

To me, they are like that special handkercheif that is embroidered with the family crest, monogram or words of wisdom. These napkins can be passed through the generations.

While they may not be in every brides budget, they do add a special flare to the event. It's unique!

Butterfly & Company was feature in the June 2009 issue of Food & Wine Magazine.

You can visit their website at http://www.butterflyinc.com/.

I love these designer bridesmaids dresses. It is a great way to give the bridesmaids a choice in what to wear. Doing so allows everyone to feel great about what they are wearing and want to wear it again. That is a true deal for your girls.

You can find these fabulous creations at http://www.kathlinargirochic.com/.

Essence.com Feature

Welcome to Bridal Week on ESSENCE.com. We’re kicking things off with our special five-day coverage of all things weddings with the ultimate guest guide. D.C. wedding planner Jeannelle Muhammad of Jeannelle Muhammad Designs helps us break down what to wear and bring to every type of wedding, and pitfalls to avoid. Click below to continue reading.

http://photos.essence.com/galleries/weddings_what_to_wear_what_to_bring

Read His Mind

Knowing how to communicate can change the dynamics of your relationship during the wedding planning and for life.

“Don’t ask for his opinion if you don’t really want to hear it.” There are many tough planning decisions to be made; it’s natural for a bride to second guess herself. Some seek the advice of family and friends. Others want to hear from the groom. And that’s fine, but not if you’re asking him only to reinforce something you’ve already decided. If he responds in disagreement, you are setting yourself up for an argument. So, if he is not intimately involved, ask him questions about items you are truly undecided about. Let him know you will take his opinions into consideration. You might actually get him to pick something you wanted badly, but thought might be a little to expensive. He might even know how to defray the cost.

“You have to tell him what he is responsible for.”

Like you, this may be his first wedding. If you expect him to plan the honeymoon and desire a present on the morning of the wedding; make that a part of his “Groom To Do” list. Unless he has a sister who is a wedding planner, he might be totally unaware that he has any responsibilities after he proposes. Telling him is not in poor taste, it is necessary to get what you desire. You can even plant hints among your friends and family if that is more to your liking.

“My friends aren’t all bums and free-loaders.”

Not liking one (or a few) of his friends, does not mean they don’t get an invitation at all. And placing them all in a corner table at the back of the ballroom will not work either. If your fiancé is clueless about your feelings, tell him. Then make a plan for the best way to seat them. You might seat them with other guests they know rather than at one table; especially if they are unruly as a group.

"The bachelor party is off-limits."

You’ve had a hand in every aspect of planning the wedding, but tread carefully when talking about his night out with the guys? To some brides, the bachelor party may seem like an immature tradition, but for the groom it may be sacred. Give suggestions, but don’t place boundaries on what time he has to be home, whether or not he can have an exotic dancer, and where he can go. It will imply that you don’t trust him. You know your man loves you, let him do his thing.