Read His Mind

Knowing how to communicate can change the dynamics of your relationship during the wedding planning and for life.

“Don’t ask for his opinion if you don’t really want to hear it.” There are many tough planning decisions to be made; it’s natural for a bride to second guess herself. Some seek the advice of family and friends. Others want to hear from the groom. And that’s fine, but not if you’re asking him only to reinforce something you’ve already decided. If he responds in disagreement, you are setting yourself up for an argument. So, if he is not intimately involved, ask him questions about items you are truly undecided about. Let him know you will take his opinions into consideration. You might actually get him to pick something you wanted badly, but thought might be a little to expensive. He might even know how to defray the cost.

“You have to tell him what he is responsible for.”

Like you, this may be his first wedding. If you expect him to plan the honeymoon and desire a present on the morning of the wedding; make that a part of his “Groom To Do” list. Unless he has a sister who is a wedding planner, he might be totally unaware that he has any responsibilities after he proposes. Telling him is not in poor taste, it is necessary to get what you desire. You can even plant hints among your friends and family if that is more to your liking.

“My friends aren’t all bums and free-loaders.”

Not liking one (or a few) of his friends, does not mean they don’t get an invitation at all. And placing them all in a corner table at the back of the ballroom will not work either. If your fiancé is clueless about your feelings, tell him. Then make a plan for the best way to seat them. You might seat them with other guests they know rather than at one table; especially if they are unruly as a group.

"The bachelor party is off-limits."

You’ve had a hand in every aspect of planning the wedding, but tread carefully when talking about his night out with the guys? To some brides, the bachelor party may seem like an immature tradition, but for the groom it may be sacred. Give suggestions, but don’t place boundaries on what time he has to be home, whether or not he can have an exotic dancer, and where he can go. It will imply that you don’t trust him. You know your man loves you, let him do his thing.